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Last week, the girls both blogged about things they do in their marriage that has strengthened and helped their marriages to be happy and successful.  Marriage is hard work.  You can’t just have the big ceremony, say your I do’s, have a few days away for the honeymoon and come home and put your marriage on autopilot and live happily everafter.  To have a happy marriage, you must on purpose, everyday take steps to ensure that you are cultivating good seeds into the soil of your marriage.  The devil knows that if our marriages are weak, that our children will be weak and in turn, due to the weakness of our families, our churches will be weak also.

How is a happy marriage born?  Does it just happen by accident?  Is it totally due to two people that meet and have instant attraction?  For the christian, we should be seeking God’s will for our lives in every area, especially in the area of our mate.

For our family, we chose to start the process of the birth of a happy marriage for our children years ago.  When I was expecting our kids, we started praying then specifically for their mate.  We would pray for their spiritual condition.  We prayed for our children and worked toward the time when they would maybe one day find that special person God would bring for their spouse.  Much training went into teaching them their respective future rolls.  Our roll was to raise someone’s future husband or wife.  With that thought in mind, we set out to equip them with the tools they would need to be the best mate to their spouse as possible.

You might be asking yourself at this point what you should be doing to raise your children for a future happy marriage.  The first and most important thing would be for you to lead your children to a healthy spiritual walk with the Lord.  Two people that are raised to love the Lord and live for Him, will want to keep Christ as the center of their home and have a deeper love for each other.  Raise your children to have their own walk with the Lord while at home, and when they move out on their own the relationship with God is already set.

Another thing our children must be taught is to respect the roles that God clearly setup for them.   Ephesians 5:22 – Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. Ephesians 5:23 – For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.  I know these verses are not popular in today’s culture, but this is how God designed marriages to be and if you want a happy marriage, God’s way is best!

Next on our list of things that must be taught to our children is to have a godly relationship BEFORE marriage.  This will pave the way for a good foundation when building their foundation as a couple.  A really great book that is a must for parents and teens to read is a small book called Stay in the Castle.  It is one of the BEST $3.00 you will spend on help for your teens!

Love your children enough to guide and train them for what will unarguably be the biggest decision that will affect the rest of their life!  We put so much time and effort into prepping them for ACT tests, ways to earn scholarships, visiting colleges and so on, all in preparation for a career that could easily be changed down the road at anytime due to an economic downturn or even just a whim.  But when it comes to finding a mate, we take a hands off approach and pray that they happen to find the right one!  Much time should be spent in prayer with your kids about who God would have for their mate and that they will spend their teen years working on themselves and their relationship with God, so that when the time comes they will be ready for a relationship with the person that God has for them.   All of the time, effort and prayer we put into raising our in-law’s future mates was well worth it in the end!