My Struggle With Modesty
I recently listened to a lecture given on honoring the Lord with the way you dress and it sparked some thoughts about modesty that I would like to share with you.
- You Need Your Parents Guidance:
Growing up in a Pastor’s home, I had an idea of what was right and wrong for me to wear. Even with this understanding, I desperately needed my parent’s guidance. You see, as a 16 year old young lady, I could not understand how men thought. I had an idea of what I thought would look pretty on me, but I had no clue about the visual battle men fight on a day to day basis. Now that I am married, I understand more and I can look back and see why my parents didn’t want me to wear certain outfits. If you are a young person reading this, may I encourage you to guard your heart from being offended about clothing? You will look back one day and understand and be grateful for your parents protection. Dressing modestly has never been about hiding what you look like and we must remove that from our thinking. Dressing modestly is valuing who you are in Christ image so much so that you aren’t willing to reveal yourself for all to see.
- You Will One Day Make Your Own Standards:
When my husband and I got married, I asked him if we could make a list of our standards and convictions and pray about each one. I didn’t want to have standards simply because my parents had them. I respected their wisdom, but I knew that doing something because someone else does it wouldn’t last in weak moments. I needed God to confirm that each one was from Him, I wanted to feel the convicting power of His Holy Spirit. Being perfectly honest here, there are a lot of things that look fun to wear and there is always the novelty of wearing something new. As a newly married couple, the Devil will tempt you to throw out the convictions and standards that your parents had. He will tell you the lie that dress isn’t important, you can listen to whatever music you want, that those things are simply for our enjoyment and have no connection to our spiritual walk. When I started praying about my dress, I thought the Lord would give me a list of clothing I shouldn’t wear. With pen and paper in hand I waited for Him to speak so I could make my list. The Lord spoke to my heart in such a personal and sweet way, the way a Father would speak to his daughter. He told me that He loved me and desired for me to honor Him in every aspect. His love for me and my desire to honor Him are my only standards in dress and everything else grows out of that. Don’t believe the Devil’s lie that dress doesn’t matter to the Lord. God loves you too much to not be interested in every area of your life.
- The Lord Will Bless You for Dressing Modestly:
If you choose to dress modestly, you will not always get the most attention in the youth group, but I promise you that God has a special blessing for you. May I share with you the biggest blessing the Lord gave me? My husband, Brett. Brett and I have talked about this and he would’ve never noticed me if I hadn’t been dressing to honor the Lord. He was looking for someone to serve the Lord with him and he said that the way I dressed made me stand out to him. The blessing that I get to enjoy is a man who values me and treasures me. Brett chooses every day to save his eyes for me. If we are watching a movie where an immodestly dressed woman comes on screen, he chooses to turn his eyes away because of the value that he places on me. If you are dressing to get attention from guys, you may be successful, but you have traded something that will have lasting value for a moment of pleasure. Until I got married, I never knew how special it would make me feel to have someone value and respect me the way that Brett does. His love for me creates so much trust and peace in our marriage and I wouldn’t trade it for a moment of attention from anyone else.
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Can I say how much I love this.
People is todays society don’t understand how freeing modesty can be.
I was not raised in a faithful house hold and it’s been in my journey of life that has lead me here.
When I first starting experimenting with modest dress (and by this I mean making a conscience decision to dress a certain way, not that I was being provocative before lol)
I noticed I was getting comments on how good I looked. at first I thought this was weird because I was dressing to NOT attract attention. Then I soon realized it was the way I carried myself that was attracting attention. I felt comfortable in my body knowing that it was mine and I had control of it. I walked with confidence and took great care in how I presented myself. I was more me and less society’s expectation of me.
covering up for me was more freeing and self esteem boosting them and midriff showing or short skirt wearing outfit. I say to anyone like me who wasn’t raised to dress modesty give it a try feel it out. you just might be surprised like I was!!
Thank you so much for your comment, Christine! God bless! 🙂
Very well written Kelsey. I admire and respect women who dress in a manner that simply doesnt draw attention to their specific looks, but, to show respect and dignity. You are correct in stating, that the right, Godly man will see the lady in a manner that shows hers morals, faith and Christianity. My Mom, always said, she dreaded warm weather, as young ladies, ad older ones also dressed to draw attention to their looks in an unbefitting way. Your blog, clearly explains that men drawn by womens apparel, aren’t seeing the true lady our Father has created. I respect and admire conservatively dessed ladies. Respect and honor win over getting the wrong attention from the wrong people. Great topic! Well written. God bess you ad Brett. Azlynn and Lincoln are truly a blessing!
LORD has blessed you with wisdom and direction. Dress is important and would not be a contentious issue if we all dressed in a way that we felt peace with God in it. I have reminded women to ask themselves, “Would you wear this outfit if you were meeting with Jesus today?” And since we are …